Starting Somewhere

I officially took a first step, after some help from my mom. She asked me to call the insurance to ask about a doctor, and they sent me to the mental health people. Ended up with me crying, but I also ended up with three names of psychologist's in my area that can help. I terrified and don't know if I'll actually have the nerve to go see someone, but at least now I have to information. Here I didn't even know where to start and my mom knew exactly what to do to get me started. She gave me a push in the right direction, now I've just got to get my feet to move forward. I hope i don't trip and fall.

Where to start?

I'm using this as a way to move myself forward. I'm not looking for anything from anyone, and if you want to read this and it might help you please feel free to do so. I had to come to grips with something very difficult a couple of weeks ago and this is the first time I have ever written it down. Just the letter's themselves seem dirty and make me feel like I'm being stabbed when I have to try and say them. But this is part of dealing with the problem, and I need to be able to move past it.

My name is Whitney and I have PTSD. I was diagnosed with a rare form of lymphoma when I was six years old and all the odds were working against me. Fifteen years later, I am here writing this down. I was told it was near impossible that I lived, and I still don't understand why people find my story amazing. To me, it's like a weird book that I don't like very much. A mock up of a cancer barbie gave me a mental break down and logically I don't understand why, but it still happened. I was diagnosed with PTSD at my yearly cancer check up about two weeks ago. I'm terrified.